Ever so slowly, the book finally cometh ...
Here's a couple of excerpts
Hi there … it’s been a while since I posted. Here’s my excuse: I’ve been finishing my damn book.
I’m reminded of the adage that applies to home renovations, implementing new software and writing books: whatever time you think it will take—triple it. It’s also tough to write, edit and proof a book when one is trying to do the regular things one does to keep the home fires burning.
But I’m also a recovering perfectionist, which I don’t say as a devious boast. It’s an affliction. (Golfers tend to be perfectionists.) I have been learning more about this curse in a great new book, The Perfection Trap by Thomas Curran.
(Interestingly, many people say in job interviews that perfectionism is their greatest weakness because it’s socially acceptable and a transparent attempt to appear ‘detail oriented.’ Recruiters say it’s the most overworked cliche in interviews.)
Alright! Enough with the grovelling …
You like the cover? I’m so jazzed. It’s the handiwork of Kim Monteforte, a Toronto-area book designer. I took the photo just before sunset during the 2022 Canadian University/College National Golf Championship in Bromont, Quebec. That’s Xavier Ayora with the putter. It’s the coolest—and warmest looking—golf picture that I’ve ever taken.
I’m nailing down the inside design with Kim, and with some luck, the book will be available for purchase on Amazon within four weeks. I’m trying to be conservative. Onwards, Upwards.
Actually, I was initially going to call it: Onwards, Upwards: Seven Make-Ahead Meals for … . Sorry. It’s a jokey bit we’ve been rehashing on the Swing Thoughts podcast.
The primary intent of the book is to help golfers get unstuck, hence the revised title—Getting Unstuck: Seven Transformational Practices for Golf Nerds. (I borrowed the phrase from podcast co-host Humble Howard. It seems far more descriptive than ‘avid.’)
Here’s an excerpt from the introduction:
What keeps you stuck is not your lack of athleticism, that you started late, that you have too many bad habits, that you are a choking dog, or that your dad yelled at you. You are stuck not because you can’t keep your head down, transfer your weight, or swing on plane.
You are stuck because of the way you habitually think, feel, and behave. You are stuck because of patterns that prevent you from staying committed to a plan, specific actions or, say, a mission that would allow you to develop solid skills that you can access when you play.
You are stuck because of the thoughts and feelings that you give into, your reactions, and the decisions you make about the things that you believe you must do. Or more, accurately, you feel compelled to do.
You are stuck because of behaviours that relieve your anxiety and cravings and quell your undesirable feelings. At least temporarily.
If this sounds like we’re in the territory of addiction, we’re close.
You have arrived at your station in life based on beliefs about yourself, perceptions of the world, and unconscious strategies that kept you safe and allowed you to get a lot of what you wanted. You have deeply honed patterns of thinking and feeling that have created habitual patterns of behaviour that determine what you do. You have followed these patterns since you were a kid. They propelled you forward to the life you have.
But eventually—as everyone discovers—at a certain point, many of these patterns stop working. Their cost starts to outweigh the benefits. And the costs show up starkly in golf, in which we literally keep numerical score of everything we do. Nowhere else in our lives, do we keep that kind of record.
You are stuck because you are looking for love in, well, many of the wrong places.
***
The “looking for love in all the wrong places” line is from a song by country singer Johnny Lee, but it’s also a favourite saying of Dr. Judson Brewer, whose wisdom I draw upon in the book.
Talking with Brewer and delving into his work helped me better understand that golfers who fixate on results are playing a losing game that causes them to flit from tip to tip, feel confused, and chronically frustrated. How do I know? I lived it.
Here’s some of what Brewer said on our podcast in 2017:
“If we’re looking outside of ourselves to try to fix something that’s not broken in the first place, we’re going to constantly be looking for a new technique,” he said. “If you’re going out to shoot a certain score, that’s an ‘in order to.’ It’s based on an extrinsic reward.
“If the trigger is the thought to shoot a certain score, and we’re on our way to shoot that score, and we do it, we feel good. Then we set this expectation—external reward—I’m going to do that again.
“But when we’re on track to not do that, it’s the death spiral,” he said. “We start to get worried and in our own way. That extrinsic motivator is a ticking time bomb.”
***
In the book, I discuss how elite performers are always focused on the process, rather than day-to-day results. Focus on the process, and the results will come. Yup, not earth-shatteringly new, but it’s the way you develop skill in anything.
It was interesting to read in Golf Digest that Tom Kim, who is only 21 and already the winner of three PGA Tour events, focuses on the long term. However, he said his game went backwards last season. “Instead of going into 2023 just trying to get better, I was thinking, ‘I want to win this, I want to win that.’”
This year, he’s taken a more measured approach, notably to increase his ball-speed from average of 172 mph, which is average by tour standards. His goal is to add a mile per hour per year.
“Then I’ll be 180 by the time I’m 28, 29,” he said. “That’s probably when my prime is going to come. I’m very old school.”
That’s some wisdom from a precocious golf nerd.