I get letters! A reader says getting out of his head led to the best golf of his life

How "being absorbed in the experience" led to a breakthrough

It’s not often that I get more than a one-to-three line response to a Substack post—sorry, newsletter as Substack people call ‘em—but when I do, it makes my day.

“Oh joy! Someone read my post. And, by golly, they liked it!”

Yes, I’m needy, crave pats on the head and being told that I wrote something of value. I may be 68, but I’m still six in many, many ways.

The writing books say you’re supposed to write not to get praise, great reviews or even heathen money, but for the sheer joy that sharing my thoughts with the wide world instils in me like the soft glow of an candle in a dark room with Grandma’s antiques.

Yeah right. I want to know that someone read an article and what they think of it. According to the Buddhists, this wanting creates suffering, but there you go.

If you don’t like what I wrote, fine; tell me. Your viewpoints will make my future stuff better.

But if you think it’s Pulitzer material, well, make my day … please. Geez, I’m pathetic, but knowing I’m pathetic means I have lots of material for more posts. Other than you-make-me-feel-all-squiggly pop songs, most writing comes from a dark place. I got plenty.

However, below is an email that illuminated my inbox. I share it not out of hubris—well, maybe a smidge—but so you can take in someone else’s experience and reflect upon your own. As Joni Mitchell intoned many years ago, that is the point of art.

Who am I to argue with Joni?

In April, I received the following email based on my post “You can’t improve what you’re unaware of.” (I’ve edited it slightly for length and clarity.)

Your blog from yesterday really struck a chord with me.

After starting over with a new swing, things started to get better and then in February I had five consecutive rounds in the 70s. Something that I have never done before.

Your blog yesterday included this sentence: “It’s the difference between being absorbed in an experience and being in your head.”

When I had these five great rounds, I felt different on the golf course but I couldn't work out why. I wasn't sure why I was playing well or what I was doing to play well. I just knew that something felt different. It was kind of weird and almost disconcerting.

When I read, “It’s the difference between being absorbed in an experience and being in your head,” I realized what was different. I hadn't been thinking about my golf swing; I was doing some sort of weight transfer dance but I was just going with the rhythm.

(I would) decide where to hit the ball, do the weight transfer dance, and I was playing the best golf of my life!

I was absorbed in an experience. The weight was shifting and hips were gliding and turning to some rhythm that I wasn't even thinking about. I was just feeling it. There was no swing thought. I didn't know when I was shifting my weight, or gliding or turning my hips or even what I was doing—I just got into the mood, I was absorbed in the act, and just let it happen.

Your article talks about "being aware." I didn't know what was happening so I wasn't aware, but I was absorbed in the experience.

As I write this, it all sounds very Zen but I didn't think about the swing mechanics, and I didn't think about swinging the club as a specific action to be performed. I just got a feeling and moved my body—no thoughts. I was just absorbed in the feeling of the moment and it was wonderful.

Thank you for your writings.

Roger - Proud owner of your book, Getting Unstuck: 7 Transformational Practices for Golf Nerds.

If you have thoughts about anything you read in Up & Down, please post it in the comments section. Or if you wish, send me an email to tim@oconnorgolf.ca.

Thx.

If you’ve ever considered mental game coaching, I’m inviting you to take the opportunity for a FREE 30-minute coaching call.

During this free session, we’ll discuss:

· What’s happening in your game?

· What are your objectives?

· What specifically makes you feel stuck?

· Identify actions and a plan that you help you get unstuck.

This FREE session will show you how to finally start moving forward.

To register for your free session, send an email to tim@oconnorgolf.ca.

Don’t miss your opportunity to get unstuck and develop your feeling of greatness!

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